CAMERA at last!

The camera finally arrived, which means I can take pictures again! Further, I can upload pics of the Origami polyhedra I constructed! Here we go!



Left to right:
30-mod (sonobe) stellated icosahedron;
12-mod (sonobe) stellated octahedron;
12-mod (sonobe) cube.


Left to right:
12-mod decoration box; assembled into a 14-box ring;
6-mod (gyroscope) truncated gyroscope (?).


Finally: 6-mod flower-box. It changes from a box to a flower! Amazing!


...Will update more later, maybe.
--Charissa

Quick Sketch

I made this sketch tonight.

On Tuesday, I got this haircut. It's incredibly butch. That's what I wanted.

My parents, however, must think it's a good way of pointing out how different I am from the idea of Girl, and saying how I shouldn't be this way and that I should change and be a good girl.

I hate that. So much.

So, I took a good look at myself in the mirror, and, I liked what I saw! Quickly, I grabbed a board and paper and drew as I saw in the mirror; it shows, with the right hand and the funny posture. But I like this picture. I like my face. I like myself. And I don't have to care who else likes it.

Though, because I like the face so much, I may finish it, one day, holding a bazooka or crossbow or something. Yeah!

--Charissa

Rest!

Finally, some Charissa-time!

Tomorrow, I'm getting a long-awaited haircut; doing some grocery shopping; and spending some long-awaited time with Kevin! We're going to grab a bite and see Hitman at the theatre. Then, I dunno, tea or something (he doesn't drink coffee or hot chocolate). He's so wholesome!

Wednesday is going to be my stay-at-home day. I'm going to do my house work: tidy my upstairs-room, tidy my real (downstairs) room; do my remaining army laundry; start planning where things will go in my (real) room after the carpet/etc gets done (I so need another closet or dresser). And then James is having his housewarming party, and I should go to that, because I said I would. I baked a cake; I hope it hasn't gone bad.

And Thursday, it's back into the fray. I should also probably bring something to the bake sale. Probably. It'd be good of me.


Relationships?

I'm finding myself thinking back to when I was with James. I saw the world so differently then; I was so different. I was so in love! What's changed? I'm colder, I think; less willing to put myself wholly into something lest it backfire somehow. Am I "afraid of getting hurt"? I don't know. I know that my first "boyfriend" hurt me so bad; I was craving any form of validation after we broke up; I learned about pain and maybe that's when I started to be masochistic, I'm not sure.

Anyway.

I fell in love with details. I'm sure that when I see James again on Wednesday, I'll still be in love with his details; much has changed, but much has stayed the same. He still crosses his hands at the wrists like puppies' paws. He still does that physical "closing up" when he's...uncertain and maybe feels vulnerable--I've yet to work out what it means. ... These are things I fell in love with.

I'm sure there are so many other people with details I could fall in love with; but I haven't found them, and part of me is scared to; and part of me is scared they'll be found by someone else instead. Do I feel lonely? Sure--I'm always lonely in Winter. I have been single every Summer of my life. I don't know why; a friend said that at least I'm warm all year round that way, and we laughed. Maybe I just like snuggling, I dunno.

And then there's Kevin.

I don't know. I like the guy. He's charming--he's delightful--but he's also a Virgo. Maybe that's all he is or will be.

So much of me is confused, or at least ambivalent.

I'm sure I'd make a terrible mother; I don't want to have kids. In the long run, I would so love to settle down with another woman; maybe adopt, I dunno. I found myself wishing that James were a lesbian--he'd make a great lesbian, too!--and now the same is happening with Kevin.

On the bus the other day, a guy and girl sat behind me. They seemed university-aged. The guy talked about all sorts of things that were very University-male-esque but also cunning or clever. And the girl replied in very simple-University-girl-esque ways. He actually coaxed her entire history of residence out of her--so smoothly, too! He summarized Punk so effectively! He talked about biking to Mexico! Man! Where do these guys come from?! Now if only women also came that way!

...Which I'm sure they do, but they're probably hetero or spoken-for. Argh.

I have to go to the gay bar again--it'd be so good for me. And gay men are amazing; friendly, hugging and inspiring--"Have a beautiful day!"


Sigh. Sleeeeeeeeep.
--Charissa

Quick update

because I didn't think it worthwhile to make a whole new post.

Went to see Hitman with Kevin. I'm pretty impressed with how he'd bend at the knees and hunch a little so that we were closer to eye-level. And he wasn't afraid to get close to me--face-wise, at least. I don't think he liked Hitman very much; but he's a Film Kid, so at least he can appreciate the cinematography... and the part where Nika is naked but the blanket's teasing and covering just part of her breasts, and then she just gets right out of bed and she's only wearing a thong. We got to see her breasts a lot in that film. "Clearly, this was worth the nine bucks."

13:15 Dec 19
--Charissa!

Last day of school

Today was the last day of school before "Winter Break", and I got to lead the class. It was great!

Something I learned: Saying "Yo!" or "Word!" or "I'm-a get ma shizzle ON!" etc is a very easy way to get the attention of grade ten students. Indeed! One student, in particular, was embarrassed for me :). But it works. It's so outrageous, that they immediately cease all other activity and turn their heads.

We went over the kids' exam first (as planned here). Half the class got less than 50%. The average was 53%. We got through the first two pages before recess. I wanted to finish quickly so we'd have time for their "presents" afterward, so I just picked one of the hyperbolas to graph. They actually stayed the first minutes of recess to see it through.

Recess.

After, I handed back their tests. Not happy. I copied down a summary of How to Complete the Square; after, I gave them the flow-chart.

Handed out the "presents": condensed notes on sketching conics; and "Why Conic Sections are Cool!". Talked about "formula sheets", study guides, condensed notes.

I passed around my first "formula sheet" I ever made. It has taped edges to prevent tearing; sprayed with hairspray to prevent graphite smudging (write in graphite so that you can erase and position everything better); everything is labeled; colour and indents help titles to pop out... Only two things about this are dumb: One, I used pencil crayons, which the hairspray dissolved. Two, I spent too much time making it. On the next formula sheets, I smarted up. No colour, no tape; but the indents keep everything orderly.

I told them about speaking "Ukrainian Math Wizard", and (let's call him) Vasil, my prof for Honours Calculus.

Then, I gave them the One Million Beans problem (but with fixed values), saying that if anyone could solve and prove it, I'd bring doughnuts next class (solution below). The top students (grade-wise) couldn't get it, but two girls who were interested but determined they could not figure it out ended up solving it! Well, not necessarily proving it, but close enough. So I owe them doughnuts next class (January 12).

While they were working on it, I told them an Engineers vs. Mathematician joke; they're on the train, one ticket... They laughed--they got it! Just before class ended, I told them the joke about Mathematicians reducing everything to problems they've already solved whereas Engineers can solve "new" problems with originality. If they don't get it now, I'm sure they'll get it later!


Proof of "One Million Beans" Problem

We know that after the beans have been moved back and forth, each jar still contains P number of beans. Now let's look at the number of red and green beans in each jar:

Jar A has

(P - n) green + (m) red beans = P.

Jar B has

(P - m) red + (n) green beans = P.

Set up equality:

P = P	Number of beans in Jar B = number of beans in Jar A.
(P - m) + n = (P - n) + m	Cancel (P) on both sides.
- m + n = - n + m
2n = 2m	Cancel (2) on each side.
n = m

Therefore,

| n - m | = 0

for all Natural m, n, P, Q < P.


Okay, I have to get up early tomorrow, then work an 8-hour shift. Sigh. Shouldn't have committed to it...

But I'll mention quickly:

I've been blessed with amazing Math teachers over the years, which probably explains a lot about me. Hopefully, this will allow me to pass along that experience to others.

One student remarked how great it was to have a teacher who didn't mumble (which is especially funny because my father teaches the level below and some kids had him last year). Another said I was exciting and that she was having fun. A few others generally remarked that I explained well and was interesting.

And these are the three (recent) things that have made me feel so worthwhile, in chronological order:

1. Finding out my army-boss has harassment issues (it's not everyone--and we're not necessarily bad untrained privates!).
2. My army-boss telling me I look good (dress/deportment).
3. Hearing that the kids enjoyed my teaching.

--Charissa