I practice talking sometimes.

It's a little funny that way: I've worked over the air before, but I have such little confidence in my voice. I stutter. My lips or teeth or jaw have always felt awkward, and I'd even seen a speech therapist when I was young. The braces didn't help, and the full implications of "JAW SURGERY" hit me all at once about a month before it was supposed to happen. I'm also first-generation Canadian, and my parents have never been great with English. I don't know if that's why I took to music and drawing and literature and Math so eagerly.

I've always had a thing for expression, for communication. Anyone who knows me will also know I have a crush on Math for that very reason--among others.

I love that, in Math, any aspect of life or any thought can be modeled using these strange symbols and even stranger rules, both of which can be taught to anyone; ideas can be communicated, proven, or disproven, and even improved upon by any number of people also seeking to find the most perfect expressions.

It's a whole community devoted to perfect universal truths.

... Hehe!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Wax

My life has been ENTIRELY TOO INTERESTING lately, but I took a break today. And this is all I want to talk about:

Brazilian Wax

So, the first time I had a Brazilian wax was this summer while training in Kingston, ON. I went to an Aveda spa, can't remember which, and had this fantastic aesthetician work her magic on my twat (yeah, what is it about me and aestheticians?).

Then, this past October, I went to Calgary to visit friends and family. We wanted to go swimming, and I realised I'd been neglecting my kitty. I picked up some Parissa Hot Wax from the drugstore and took it to the place I was staying. Unfortunately, I was staying with my brothers, so I sneaked into the kitchen late at night, heated the wax over the stove, sneaked back to the bathroom, waxed myself, and when the wax would harden, I'd sneak back to the kitchen and repeat.

It was TERRIBLE. I guess this is why spas play relaxing music.

I had wanted to wax my armpits and give myself a full Brazilian... On my first application, I scalded my armpit skin, and applied the wax too thin, so it didn't come off entirely! It was terribly awkward!

Then I was brave or foolish enough to try my kitty. I didn't get very far. I tried maybe two applications before I couldn't bear the pain anymore. Unfortunately, I'd gotten some of the wax stuck in the other hairs, so had to pull those out by hand just so I didn't have green wax stuck to my pubes!

Overall, my first attempt with self- hot waxing was an utter failure.


However, anything that I'll try once, I'll usually try twice.

Today I felt rather adventurous, and attempted again. I had the kitchen all to myself, with no parents or siblings around. This time, I let the wax cool until about the consistency of honey before applying to my armpits. Worked like a charm. I completed both armpits with minimal resistance.

Then, I felt adventurous. I stripped further.

I guess I was more relaxed this time (and warmer, too!) so my bikini line went without much resistance, either. I felt more adventurous.

I'll admit, it felt weird putting a warm liquid substance on my twat and trying to convince myself it wasn't sexual. I did the whole procedure standing up, one leg on the kitchen counter, sometimes using one hand to pull on my butt or lips.

My labia were a little awkward. But, honestly, hot wax feels just.... Ooh, warm and wonderful on my twat. Just... Once when I was holding my lips apart, my grip slipped and my lips closed, the warm wax touching my clitoral hood. My reaction:
1. Oh, oh wow that feels nice;
2. Oh shit, that's going to hurt pulling off.

Fortunately, (and for WHATEVER REASON) the wax didn't stick, and came off easily. Yeah. Okay, enough of that.

Waxing my asscrack was a also awkward. I kept feeling around to make sure I'd gotten it all. I doubted myself once, and waxed the area again. Unfortunately, I slipped again, and my butt cheeks sandwiched the wax between them. That was difficult to remove.

At the very end, I still had maybe a half centimetre of wax left, so I decided to wax my legs, just to see what would happen (I've never waxed or shaved my legs, since the little hair I have there is also very fine). The wax was too thin sometimes and left little bits on my legs. Other than that, it would have been fine.


All in all, not a bad experience. For eight bucks, I waxed my armpits, my entire kitty, and patches of my legs. I'd definitely do this again.

Final note: if I ever decide to wax my face, I would DEFINITELY use a different wax. The popsicle-stick wooden applicators are just too clunky to get my eyebrows.

--Charlie