Theology!

So. I was born into a Chinese Christian family, and I was baptized as a member of a Chinese Alliance Church on December 17, 2006; I was eighteen and it was my decision.

Being gay (okay, "bisexual", but I'm beginning to find that word a little clumsy and irritating) in a very conservative Chinese church has its excitements. When I first came out to the English pastor, he didn't seem very knowledgeable or open, so maybe he automatically went to stereotypes (there's a topic I could go on about!) like being anti-gay. And then we talked over the next few weeks, and I brought him up to speed with my "journey" and beliefs.

... I remember, though, one time, we had an outreach, and I brought my buddy Jonathon, who is pretty much an Atheist and a huge jerk. Jon asked about gay people in church, and the English Pastor said, "I would love it if there were gay people in our church!" which said a lot about his ideas of who gay people are.

But, I must admit, he seemed much more open-minded and less "OMG!" when we last talked.


There are a few places in the Bible, with which I have issues. Mostly, they're things like this:

Genesis 3
The Fall of Man

(The Serpent has talked Eve into eating of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil; Eve gave some to Adam; they felt naked and hid; God approaches them and then begins to punish them all.)

My biggest beef here is what God says to Eve in Gen 3:16...

¹⁶ To the woman he said,
"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you."

Kay, wait. What?

Sometimes I wonder if we've "grown out of the old curses". This is my biggest question, because it leads so many ways...

Have we grown out of some parts of the Bible?

I know the invention of words like "gay" or "homosexual" are very recent to the English language, where their definitions vary. Some cultures have/had very specific words for identities like... "Person who was born male, lives a masculine lifestyle and is attracted to men" or "Person who was born female has been intimate with men but prefers women".

Homosexuality as we now know it was not a concept known to those in "biblical times", so it could not have been written about the way we could understand it. Some would argue that only homosexual actions (and not homosexuality) are written about in the Bible.

So, that brings me back to Gen 3:16. There exists counter-example! ... Therefore...?

I'm not sure how to end that sentence.


Hinduism

I've started watching this television show, when I can spare the time. One episode, the hostess talked with the writer of Dharma, Karma and Much More, which is, from my understanding, a sort of FAQ and intro to Hinduism.

In my setting (suburban, Chinese, Canadian, Christian...), I've not had much exposure to Hinduism, except through the last seasons of Xena: Warrior Princess, so I already respected and admired Hinduism.

What I most love is the acceptance and open-ness. The author even said, "You are Muslim, I am Hindu", meaning that we each go our own way--such is life, and we should accept it!


Community

I like my church, in some ways, yes. But at the same time, I can't stand the social games some of the women play. I can't stand how it's about status and image and how they can gossip and not realize it's gossip!

Haha. My best friend Eric sometimes expresses that he wishes I went to his church, a Lutheran church. I also wish; but it would be like giving up my church. ... Why can't we be less polarized--less set against each other--and more united? Why would switching churches seem like abandoning?


Image

Sigh. I'm not sure if I'm falling for "image" again. Christianity is supposed to be about acceptance, too, since Jesus was a cage-rattler and stood up for those who "got no respect". But Christianity has sort of become the badguy in most people's minds--at least, from what I see and hear personally and through the media. Maybe it's like America--just a few really bad example shake its entire image.

This is one arguments I made about the word "bisexual" when I was coming out. "It's normal, and now there's a word for it!" was my war-cry. I guess my words are coming back to me now; I want to be able to say "I am Christian" without also thinking, "But I'm not one of those lunatics!" I don't know if I can get to that point, though.

Which is not to say that I'll not be/call myself Christian! I won't give up! I just think it'd be easier to be Christian if I were Hindu.


This is something I do pray about--not just talk. I wish it were easier to "be Christian". I know there is a tangible and supernatural force that also created the universe; but what makes me so certain that force is the Christian God? Why isn't that force someone or something else?

Did Jesus exist? Yes, I believe that to be historically true.
Is Jesus the Son of God? Yes, I believe that to be true, though I admit it is harder.
Did Jesus die for me? Yes, I believe that I have indeed done evil, and that my actions have consequence both here and in Eternity (whatever that looks like), and that Jesus took that Eternal punishment in my place.


Sigh.
--Charissa

Conics and my state of mind

Every two months or so, I go kinda crazy--just a little, though. For about five days, I am restless, pouty, petty, dramatic, anxious, confused--all sorts of nasty things. An additional side-effect is that I can believe anything. I won't know waking reality from dreams; I won't know waking reality from things I read; I won't know waking reality from what I want to believe. Added to this, I have a mild fever that's been off and on for about a week.

For anyone who has an idea the state my mind's normally in, you may have an extra appreciation of the mess this stirs up.


Teaching

We've just "finished" teaching Conic Sections to the kids. I'm not sure what he taught, I was marking their papers so they'd know how they're doing before the exam comes.

In S4 Pre-Calculus, we made a flow chart for identifying types of conic sections. I want the students to have it, but I'm not sure what the teacher has in mind.

That being said...

Because Saturday, December 01 is my fitness test with the Army, I might miss part of Math school that day. That's a review class, and I'd be sorry to miss it. One student is even writing the exam that day because he won't be there next week.

Upcoming Saturdays:
December 01

09:00 - Army fitness test at base. Eep.

14:00 - Review class before exam. One student writing exam early.

December 08

14:00 - Exam on Trig and Conic Sections.

December 15

14:00 - Teacher is away and has not given me any specifics on what to do that day, so I have full control of what we do that day! I want to actually enrich* the students' understanding of Mathematics--because we're supposed to be an "enrichment program".

17:30 - Math School Christmas Dinner. Woots.

* Here is what I want to talk about on December 15...

Conic Sections

History

Way, way back, circa 200 BC, there was a Greek named Apollonius, and he wrote a book called On Conics. This earned him the title, "The Great Geometer". The study of conics has been around for a long time! (Will add more later.)

What are they?

Imagine two hollow cones placed together at their points, sort-of like an hour-glass. By cutting different 2D sections of this, you get "Conic Sections".

Taking a slice of a cone, parallel to an edge gives a parabola.
Taking a slice of a cone at an angle such that you slice through both halves, gives a hyperbola.
Taking a horizontal slice gives either a circle or a single point (if you cut at the joining point).
Tilting that circular slice gives an ellipse.

Definitions

A circle is the set of all points** equidistant from a single point. To draw one, wrap a loop of string around a pin and a pencil and draw as far from the pin as possible without tilting the pencil.


An ellipse is the set of all points** whose distance from both foci is constant (ie: the distance from one point to the first focus plus the distance from the same point to the other focus always adds up to the same number). To draw one, wrap a loop of string around two pins and a pencil and draw as far from the pins as possible.

A parabola is defined as the set of all points** equidistant from a line and a point F (the focus) not on the line (see the right-hand side of this image).

A hyperbola is the set of all points whose distance from one focus, minus the distance to the other focus, is constant.

**(in a plane).


Gravity

The path of a projectile thrown (ie: with another, smaller force in a perpendicular direction) near the surface of the Earth is a parabola.

The path the Earth travels around the Sun is an ellipse.

The path of an object (such as a rocket or comet) on an escape trajectory from a fixed mass (such as the Sun) is a hyperbola.


Reflection

The parabola, ellipse and hyperbola each have "focus points" or "foci". If you've ever seen a satellite dish, you have an idea what this means.

For parabolas, an incoming ray that is parallel to the axis of symmetry is reflected toward the focus.

For ellipses, any ray originating at one focus will reflect toward the other focus (this is still true for the special case of the circle, where the "other" focus is the same focus).

Hyperbolas are a bit more complicated. A ray originating from one focus will be reflected and look as though it originated from the other focus (see this image). (There are a few other cases that work out nicely, that I just can't remember right now.)


Light Cone
...Actually, maybe they won't be ready for this yet. But I'll mention it--briefly.


...I should take that book out of the library again...
--Charissa


Further reading:
http://fti.neep.wisc.edu/~jfs/neep602.lecture8.trajectories.97/neep602.lecture8.trajectories.97.html

"Spacecraft Trajectories"

http://mathworld.wolfram.com/Parabola.html

Mathworld: Parabola

http://mathworld.wolfram.com/Ellipse.html

Mathworld: Ellipse

http://mathworld.wolfram.com/Hyperbola.html

Mathworld: Hyperbola

http://www.practicalphysics.org/go/Experiment_386.html;jsessionid=alZLdQlAHb1

"Drawing" a parabola; teaching aid

Some Writing!

http://blog.wolfram.com/2007/05/the_mathematica_behind_televis.html

In my previous post, I linked to Mathworld because it's awesome. Well, I'm linking it again because it's awesome, AND has ties to the television series NUMB3RS, which is totally hoorays!

Also, I thought I would post this snippet from my collection of "smutty Math stories" that I write from time to time. This one is old, but I wuvs it dearly:

Short fiction: Models (Incomplete)

Oh, you don't need any help now, do you?, he asks mockingly. He's leaning low by my side; his face is close to mine, gazing across to the quickly scrawled initial value problem. I finger the corner of the paper, thinking distractedly. I can feel his warmth on my skin. He's closer than I thought, so I don't turn my head to reply.

I've got it, I tell him dismissingly, I've got it... In nervous habit, I press my lower lip to my teeth, biting my lip.

We've been here at least two hours, exchanging questions and explanations and waxing philosophical with our esoteric dialogue. We're indulging in our two greatest pleasures at the same time, and as an extra treat, I'm nibbling some dark chocolate.

He rights himself and walks across the kitchen. He's probably stretching himself out and getting snacks; I can hear him yawn.

I hear him open the fridge and see him, in my mind's eye, for I'll not indignify myself by staring. I wonder what he'll get. He'll always find a way to pleasantly surprise me. At least, until I can recognize his pattern.

I used to intimidate people with the way I predicted them. If I wanted a favour done, I wouldn't ask, but tell the person, "You're going to get me a large coffee from the cafeteria if I give you three dollars." Usually, the first reactions are to take offense and rebel against my suggestion, but I wouldn't have said it if I thought it would not work, and, with little effort on my part, she'll bring me my coffee, and my $1.50 change.

Wilbert was the first--and only--person I could not accurately predict. The first favour I told him was in Math class. "You'll bring my exercise book?" He looked at me as though trying to understand my own pattern, and then went off to fetch it, with a slight smile. But when he returned with the book, he did not give it to me. Instead, he stayed standing at my desk, reading the exercise book casually.

"'Exercise fifty-eight," he said, "question one."

He had a soft voice; soothing, really, but simultaneously evocative.

"'Find an acute angle x such that tan of ninety minus x equals cotangent of eight plus one-third x.' Hm, now that looks like a fun question. Let's see. Tan is sine over cos, and cotangent is cos over sin. Cross multiplying gets the sines and cosines on different sides, but if they're moved to one side, it makes a cos double-angle identity, and from there..."

And I just stared at him.

His mind was so analytical; always calculating--but in a haphazard and chaotic way, which still let him appear calm and intense. Finding his patterns would be the most captivating and satisfying task I'd set for myself yet. Not that I'm obsessed.

I have an unfinished model. It works, but it is flawed. It can predict 90% of his actions, but not thought process behind them. I think I can refine this model by the end of the month. It has taken too long already.

...to be finished at some later date.

...later
--Charissa

Quick Update

Origami

For my birthday, I received an Origam gift box and extra book from Mark! OMG! The gift box has printed paper (strange and elegant designs that remind me of wallpaper), gold and silver foil paper, a protractor, two 'bone' crease tools (one for making sharp creases, the other for "drawing" the crease patterns), a square board with grid and markings on it, and an origami instruction book. I'm only a little irritated that both books contain mostly diagrams that are reliant on cutting paper.

This is mostly an announcement that, as soon as I get my camera, I'll be posting picture of both the modular origami polyhedra and the new models--animals and flat geometric patterns. Man, I can't wait to get that camera!!


Teaching Math

I've been in correspondence with one of the students who had questions about exponents/roots, and after the two weeks between classes when I was helping her with that, she wrote back to say I'm a good explainer! That totally made my day!

We started conic sections on Saturday with the Circle and Ellipse. At the end of class, the teacher wrote this on the board:

"Next week: line, parabola and hyperbola."

The students had mostly never heard of hyperbola, and some never heard of parabola. The teacher said to look it up on the Internet, and I wanted to jump up and say, "MATHWORLD DOT WOLFRAM!!" but of course, that would have been inappropriate, so I didn't. Sigh.


Film Festival

One of my friends has a film in a Canadian film festival, and his film made it as far as a public showing! I'm so excited! I'm going to the showing, hopefully with a friend who is/was a major artistic-film-maker-type-person. In truth, I wonder if she'll like my friend's film, but I invited her mostly for the other films. Heh.


Army

My unit did a field exercise this past weekend. They slept outside with little form of heating for two nights. Yowza! I went on the last day to help with breakfast and tear-down. Man, I suck at moving things. I definitely need to work out. But with the army, I get a personal trainer and access to the gyms, so I'll have to make use of that. Sheesh, though, I wish I had more free time...


Art

I'm donating Boobfest III to the queer student group at the university I used to go to. At least, I'm donating a print--and I think I'll take it back at the end of the school year.

Also, that student group is planning on booking a small art gallery in one of the centres at the university--there's this glass room beside a major traffic junction and across from a Tim Horton's / food court, I think, which is totally a great place to put an art gallery.

If we end up booking it, I'll totally submit: my nude pieces; the Origami I'm proud of (goldfish in the bowl!!), including an enclosed chain of connected coloured boxes that are ordered to make a rainbow (sort of; I'm missing a real *purple* but I have this dull mauve thing); and any other artwork I deem public-worthy--which is not much, so I'll have to get busy making more, dammit! Mmm, I'm excited!


...Will update this entry with links and text formatting later.
--Charissa