I practice talking sometimes.

It's a little funny that way: I've worked over the air before, but I have such little confidence in my voice. I stutter. My lips or teeth or jaw have always felt awkward, and I'd even seen a speech therapist when I was young. The braces didn't help, and the full implications of "JAW SURGERY" hit me all at once about a month before it was supposed to happen. I'm also first-generation Canadian, and my parents have never been great with English. I don't know if that's why I took to music and drawing and literature and Math so eagerly.

I've always had a thing for expression, for communication. Anyone who knows me will also know I have a crush on Math for that very reason--among others.

I love that, in Math, any aspect of life or any thought can be modeled using these strange symbols and even stranger rules, both of which can be taught to anyone; ideas can be communicated, proven, or disproven, and even improved upon by any number of people also seeking to find the most perfect expressions.

It's a whole community devoted to perfect universal truths.

... Hehe!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Novemberance!

As a kid, I used to call today "Novemberance Day" and even wrote a terrible poem about it, once. I dunno, I never had a particular attachment to Remembrance Day. In school, one of my good friends, Diane, had/lost family in the World War/s, I can't quite recall.

But as a member of the Canadian Forces, I was at one of the many Remembrance Day ceremonies across the city. Of course, I have no training as of yet, so I was, at most, a spectator standing with some higher-ranked personnel who told us untrained Privates when to stand at attention, remove our headdress and so-on.

A few things were prominent today...

I know it shouldn't be funny--especially not today--but it can be rather hilarious when you actually see soldiers--mostly Cadets--pass out while standing on the parade ground. I was told that it's quite common, especially with the Cadets, for soldiers to get dizzy and pass out from standing for about two hours--especially the Cadets, who are often so nervous that they "thunder"; fall, stiff as a board, flat on their faces. One guy from our unit even fell on his face; and then began crawling about as though uncertain of where he was. I was told he lost a contact lens in the process.

My "boss" is disgusting. Really, she is. She's short, skinny, butch, loud, irritable, vulgar, and disgustingly, disgustingly hetero. I really did not want to hear her talk about condoms nor "sword-fighting" in her mouth. She reminds me of a girl I knew in high-school, except she's an adult. I want to believe that she's just disgusting when she's in uniform, it's her coping mechanism or something, but she makes me want to vomit--I can't believe she's a soldier! Does she have dignity? IT SURE DOES NOT SEEM SO!

I do not have to adopt a new lifestyle. Here is (sort-of) a summary of my thinking:

- I'm in the Army, hoorays! I'll have discipline!
- Oh, I'd better watch and learn from observation!
- Gee, this is a lifestyle thing!
- I'd better bring Army elements into my Civi lifestyle!
- Son-of-a-bitch, I'm getting a soldier's mouth!
- Hey, my "co-worker" has morals and refuses to profane!
- That is freaking awesome!
- I'm not going to profane! Nor drink--the way they do, at least.
- I don't have to be like anyone else! I'm special!
So, hoorays!

Remembrance Day is important! This I already knew! It just feels... more ceremonial--of course--now that I'm in the CF.

The Remembrance Day ceremony was Christian! Some of our speakers were very... "We are fighting Evil!" which made me a little uncomfortable. We fight Evil, yes, but it is not... We don't... We aren't to be "Holy Warriors", I think. I think we should never be "Holy Warriors". ... Sheesh, this is difficult to put into accurate words!!


In other news...

I found out something interesting the other day. I'm not yet going to say what, because it's not my story to tell; but it made me both excited and... Clingy. I mean, it's a bad thing to be excited over this. HONESTLY.

Also, at the Maths school, we gave out a rather fun-looking assignment. I do and don't look forward to marking these! They're all long-answer involving Trig Identities. Sigh. While it'll be exciting, it'll also be messy and headache-inducing, I think. Woots!

Also, I took out a book on Modular Origami from the library! I've already made a stellated icosahedron. Woots! I think, after I finish making some of the models in this book, I'll move onto this project! Bwahah!


That's all for now. I might update later with fun trig stuff.
--Charissa

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