I practice talking sometimes.

It's a little funny that way: I've worked over the air before, but I have such little confidence in my voice. I stutter. My lips or teeth or jaw have always felt awkward, and I'd even seen a speech therapist when I was young. The braces didn't help, and the full implications of "JAW SURGERY" hit me all at once about a month before it was supposed to happen. I'm also first-generation Canadian, and my parents have never been great with English. I don't know if that's why I took to music and drawing and literature and Math so eagerly.

I've always had a thing for expression, for communication. Anyone who knows me will also know I have a crush on Math for that very reason--among others.

I love that, in Math, any aspect of life or any thought can be modeled using these strange symbols and even stranger rules, both of which can be taught to anyone; ideas can be communicated, proven, or disproven, and even improved upon by any number of people also seeking to find the most perfect expressions.

It's a whole community devoted to perfect universal truths.

... Hehe!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Issues

As much as I want to keep this from being angsty and personal, I sort-of want to write about my state-of-mind.

I've been so apologetic ever since getting the survey job; I haven't spoken fluently and with conviction, it seems, for ages. My sentences are full of "maybe"s and "I think"s and "I believe"; and "it might be"s; and more "like"s than ever before.

I wonder if it's mostly a self-confidence issue, or if it's something else?

I also wonder if doing more proofs will be helpful in gaining more self-confidence. Probably will!


Week so far:

Oct 29

I'm now 19. Hoorays, I guess. For my birthday, I paid $200 in Utilities.
Oct 30
Learned how to properly wear my Army uniform! Woo-hoo!
Had my first "class" in the Army (Dress and Deportment; and Rank Structure).
Oct 31
Started playing Brood War again. Sigh. What a wonderful way to waste time.
Received e-mail from the teacher, who said I should go over the Quiz in class with the students--WHICH IS OMG HOORAYS!!


O, Time...
--Charissa

Posted by Charlie at 2:06 AM

Labels: , , ,

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)