What means "gay"?
Ask around, and you'll get so many different answers.
Truthfully, I'm not really sure what gay means, either. It has something to do with liking someone of the same sex or gender. It gets blurry when you add in things like trans-gendered people, trans-sexual people, actions, history, preference... But, in the broadest sense, it means a same-sex or same-gender attraction.
Does being gay mean you're physically attracted to the same sex or gender (for the purposes of brevity, I'll just say one or the other from now on)? Not necessarily. It's totally possible to have a purely emotional bond.
Here's another way to think of it. There's a celibate holy man who has no physical desires for women nor men. Is he gay? Is he straight? I don't know!
I like to call myself gay sometimes and generally use the word gay very loosely. I also like to use the word lesbian, but gay is more hilarious. Rush Hour Three was gay!
Honestly, aside from a few general guidelines, these word--gay, bi, lesbian, gender, sex, trans-gendered, trans-sexual, gender-queer, lesbi-bi, curly... They're not well-defined, and their meanings really just depend on what you decide they mean to you.
If someone asks me whether or not I'm gay, I might simplify things by saying, "Yeah." And if they're cerebral enough to realize that wasn't a very descriptive answer, they'll follow-up with, "What does it mean to be gay?", whereupon I'll tell them what it means for me, myself, to be gay.
It means I like women. I love women's bodies. I love the way women can think, feel, and generally live in the world. I'm physically attracted to women. I feel a deeper connection with certain women, and the idea of powerful or empowered women.
It means I'm not overly feminine. I like wearing neck ties. I like wearing men's suits and blazers and jackets. I like passing as a man when I go to the symphony. I like being given the key to the men's toilet when I ask to use the restroom.
It means I like men--a little. Mostly, I like certain men, or have liked certain men. And I don't believe that my like or love for them was any less real because of my being gay. I could love another man. But I could love a woman in the same ways.
It means I love the Queer community. Lesbians are amazing--they'll bake you cookies and lift heavy objects! Gay men are quaint and inspiring. And everyone, on any part of the "spectrum" (rainbow) is beautiful and lovely and wonderful! Everyone has a story. Everyone brings his or her story and qualities and questions and experiences to the community.
When I talk about "being gay", I'm not just talking about my attraction for women--or any one lone part. It's so much more than that three-letter word. It's a part of who I am--and this is more what people mean when they say, "I identify as ______." It's part of who you are.
I am Charissa, and I am a Rainbow Person
I am Bisexual
I am Gender-Queer
I am Curly
I am Queer
I am Gay Sometimes
I am Charissa!
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