Horrible, horrible day

Army

Well, today went hideously.

First, I found out that my period had started, about two hours before I had to leave for work. NOT FUN. Standing for hours, and lots of stair-climbing do not a happy uterus make!

Second! I had started carrying my ID in my jacket pocket, with my bus pass, making it easier to grab than from my leg pocket. Today was the ONLY day I had forgotten to take my ID from my jacket and keep it on my person. TODAY. THE ONLY DAY. And, of course, it just so happened that there was a check to see who had their ID with them.

So my boss's boss had some words with me. This will never happen again. I will never forget to have my ID on me (in uniform) ever again. My ID and my dogtags (when I get them) must be on me whenever I am on duty. I WILL NEVER FORGET TO DO THIS. EVER.

Third! My boss called me aside after dismissal to give me some more words about forgetting my ID. This made me late for my bus.

To catch my usual bus, I head North, because this bus stop is only eight minutes away. However, there is another bus I could take that would get me downtown, but it's an 13 minute walk South. Since I missed my usual bus, and I didn't want to stand around, for the next one, I walked 21 minutes South to the other bus stop, just to see the bus speed away with a block left to go.

I called my brother and asked if he could pick me up from downtown. But because we live so far South, this is even difficult. So he asked me to take this bus that comes every 15 minutes even at night.

I think I was outside for over an hour, total, just walking and waiting for buses. It was absolutely horrible.


Me

I think I need to set aside more "me-time". Less video-games, less watching TV. Just "me", thinking about stuff.

Man, I haven't done that in months, maybe even a year. I think I just need to relax and be totally okay with being myself--set aside an hour or half an hour every day to be okay with being myself. Be happy with being myself. Think about what I would like to do tomorrow. Think about what I would like to do in the (somewhat near) future.


Neek

I'm having lunch with my friend Neek tomorrow. It'll be interesting. He thinks my friend ----- is emotionally abusive and a negative influence on my life. He's also paying for my lunch. I think Neek is good for me--in some ways. He's a total jerk, with very little sense of boundaries (in terms of what is appropriate to say/ask). And he loves to annoy stupid people, take advantage of stupid people. He plays online poker for a job. He also teaches chess.

He used to be a great chess player--maybe he still is, but he hasn't truly practiced in a long time. So he teaches kids chess, and they pay top dollar for it.


Me again

I think I've missed this.

I keep forgetting that there are people who are like me, or who are good for me. I've been so pessimistic and defensive and awkward and noncommittal and "shy" these past months.


Dream

This terrible day is suddenly bringing back this dream I had last night/this morning.

I dreamt I got thrown in prison--except, that it was a crazy prison that was trying to educate us into refined people, and also there were kids from my highschool there, too. Most notably, Diane and Homer. Diane was one of my closest friends in high school. We've drifted apart since grade 11 or 12 though. She's now a journalist in Alberta. Homer was this disgusting hippopotamus of a kid who used to tease me and others for various things, especially in grade school.

I was marched down a very long hallway to the prison, but I was wearing my CF uniform for some reason! All the staff were in grey or grey-brown or even some sandy colours. But they were warm colours, too.

As I walked into the prison, other prisoners would look at my green uniform and go "Wow", they gawked and some of them smiled, I guess, because the green made them happy? I dunno.

I was brought to a station where I could undress and put on the grey-brown prison outfit. Afterward, I was introduced to my prison-mates.

I can't figure out why Diane and Homer were there. There were also some other kids who, like Homer, picked on us. But, seriously, Homer wasn't that bad. He was nothing compared to the girls who'd jab their noses in the air every time they saw us, or say brainless things about us or our families or our whatever. But anyway...

Diane seemed so broken-spirited. She'd cry or sob at things (the others were mean to her, too), and seemed just... I dunno. Despairing.

She brightened up when she saw me. It was weird. I wanted to protect her. (In real life, she's much more independent than she seemed in the dream.)

In the prison, the guards/etc were weird. They were trying to teach us things like poetry and correct order of cutlery for fancy dinners. It was like being in the military! Also, once, I forgot my towel or something, and I got a stern yelling-at. Something about how towels could save your life? I'm not sure! There was this blonde girl who just lent me a towel. It was blue.

I got back to "class" and everyone was sitting with their heads bowed and writing stuff on papers at their desks. The "teacher" was writing stuff on a chart on the board. It was either a spelling test, or a poetry test.

Anyway, I woke up suddenly so I don't know how it ended. But strange how foreboding it was, in retrospect!

--Charissa