I practice talking sometimes.

It's a little funny that way: I've worked over the air before, but I have such little confidence in my voice. I stutter. My lips or teeth or jaw have always felt awkward, and I'd even seen a speech therapist when I was young. The braces didn't help, and the full implications of "JAW SURGERY" hit me all at once about a month before it was supposed to happen. I'm also first-generation Canadian, and my parents have never been great with English. I don't know if that's why I took to music and drawing and literature and Math so eagerly.

I've always had a thing for expression, for communication. Anyone who knows me will also know I have a crush on Math for that very reason--among others.

I love that, in Math, any aspect of life or any thought can be modeled using these strange symbols and even stranger rules, both of which can be taught to anyone; ideas can be communicated, proven, or disproven, and even improved upon by any number of people also seeking to find the most perfect expressions.

It's a whole community devoted to perfect universal truths.

... Hehe!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Weirder dreams!

Dreams (again)

I dreamt that my close friend, Mark, and I were suddenly making out. It was crazily good, too, instead of him just doing whatever he wanted. I think we had paused to take a breather--we were outside, btw--and suddenly, he fell backwards!

Oh, and he had told me something about how when he was a kid, he got Viral Something (I think he said pneumonia) and it spread to the barley crop but then the barley became resistant or something like that.

When he fell backwards, he hit his head on something hard. He lost all his memory up to the point where he was a kid and got that Viral Something. I had no idea what to do, so I called his best friend on his cell phone. When his friend arrived, we were both in tears; he couldn't even speak. Mark was delirious and talking about how to get him to the barley fields so he could infect them and save future crops or something.

Well, Mark didn't get better. I went with him to the hospital, and for some reason, he stayed with me afterward (or I stayed to take care of him, in my house?). He started seeing a psychologist to get his memories back and snap him out of his delusions, but it didn't seem to help. I realized that he still hadn't heard from his best friend in a long time, so I decided I'd call him and put him on the phone to Mark.

It was a miracle! After hearing his voice, Mark snapped right back, and the two started crying with joy! His friend arrived at the door shortly, and the two of them began making out. I think the dream ended with the two of them driving off into the sunset together.


Interpretation?

I need to not be jealous of Mark and his best friend.


...more later...

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